Yeah ok I’m bunking off my revision again (or dogging my revision as the Scots say but that sounds a bit dodgy to me) but actually this is kind of like revision because it’s writing which is English and it’s about opera which is music and it’s all stuff I’m going to see next year so it’s planning for the future isn’t it which my teachers say is really important. I won’t do them all though, I’ll do it till I get bored then I’ll come back to it another time.
LINDA DI CHAMOUNIX**
Okay so it’s the first opera of the season and they want to get people interested again, remind us there’s still opera around so what do they do? They pick an opera no-one’s ever heard of and they fill it with singers no-one’s ever heard of. I mean I know who Alessandro Corbelli and Elizabeth Sikora are and the fact they’re in it means this opera is probably funny but who are Eglise Gutierrez (any relation to the Newcastle player?) and Marianna Pizzolato? Never heard of them but to be honest the ROH usually knows what it’s doing when it’s bringing in unknowns, it’s just the big stars who can demand any role they want who are the problem. Oh yes I should mention the conductor, it’s Mark Elder, I don’t think Rossini’s his best composer but luckily this isn’t be Rossini, it’s Donizetti.
I’m giving this 2 stars because the ROH has done a few concert performances of unknown operas and they’ve all been a bit s*** really but maybe it’ll be brilliant, who knows, well Hairy knows but I haven’t asked him. He hasn’t been going to the opera lately because he’s been worried about the financial crisis and I’ve been revising and the operas are all sold out anyway. It’s our fault, we shouldn’t write such good reviews, they never sold out before but now everyone wants to go.
DON CARLO****
Not this one again! Yeah okay it’s not that bad but they only did it like 5 minutes ago, there’s loads of operas they haven’t done for millions of years I want to see again like Die Entfuhrung and Peter Grimes and Midsummer Night’s Dream and Macbeth and Rosenkavalier and okay I can’t think of any more but there are loads okay?
Jonas Kaufmann sings the title role, he should be good, he’s a good singer and he can do all the acting so he might be able to make some of the plot make sense, you never know. Marina Poplavskaya sings Elisabetta again, she used to be a Young Artist but now she’s a major guest star. She didn’t really get into the character last time I don’t think but she was very young to be singing the role, she’s older now so she should be better at it. But even if she’s not that good she’s still hot so as long as you’re attracted to girls you’ll like her bits.
Simon Keenlyside comes back as Rodrigo, he’s good and it’s a tragedy so there’s no chance of him overdoing the comedy. Then you’ve got Ferruccio Furlanetto is King Philip, he’s like one of the most experienced singers around and loads of Young Artists who are mostly just out of music college. Semyon Bychov is the conductor bloke.
TRISTAN UND ISOLDE**
Does anyone seriously sit through the whole of Wagner operas? I mean, I’ve sat through them all on the radio but I do other things at the same time like texting people and shagging my girlfriends and putting my computer desk against the door so my brother can’t come in. But there’s no way I’d want to waste a whole 6 hours just sitting there in the opera house, I’d probably end up doing something really awful like revising in my head.
But if you don’t have a life you might quite like this. Ben Heppner and Nina Stemme are supposed to be signing the character roles but Ben cancels appearances sometimes. Nina sang Isolde for Glyndebourne when I was 12 I think and all the critics were like, her voice is gleaming and I was like you what, voices don’t gleam. Then I listened to it on the radio (not all of it, just a few scenes, that’s enough when you’re listening to Wagner) and I decided they probably had a point this time. Antonio Pappano is the conductor so things could be a lot worse.
CARMEN***
Roberto Lasagne sings Don Jose but don’t worry, that vampire woman isn’t in it and Lasagne isn’t that bad really, he’s just not nearly as good as people think he is. Elina Garanca is Carmen, she’s pretty good, not my type usually but everyone’s my type when they sing Carmen except Angela Goo Goo and Maria Ewing. Ildebrando d’Arcangelo is Escamillo, he should be good but his scene will be great anyway because you’re just waiting to see if his horse craps himself onstage. Bertrand de Billy is conducting and it’s a good sexy production if you can ignore Lasagne.
L’HEURE ESPAGNOLE/GIANNI SCHICCHI**/*
These two were performed together a few years ago and I reckon they work. The music is quite different, they don’t fit together like Cav & Pag but it works. L’Heure espagnole is brilliant, it’s about this woman who’s trying to hide her boyfriends from her husband and each other. Christine Rice is in it again, she’s just so funny and you’d have to be dead not to fancy her. Or gay. Christopher Maltman, Yann Beuron and Andrew Shore are three of her blokes.
Gianni Schicchi isn’t quite as good because everyone’s a bit dodgy so it’s like the singers have to work quite hard to make you like them. But Thomas Allen is Gianni Schicchi this time, he could probably play Iago and you’d still think he was cool.
Maria Bengtsson and Stephen Costello are Lauretta (Schicchi’s daughter) and Rinuccio (her bloke), even if you’ve never been to the opera before you’ll know Lauretta’s aria. What you might not know is that she’s actually like saying she’s going to kill herself if Schicchi won’t let her go out with Rinuccio, she’s well sneaky, she takes after her dad. Hairy will like this, I think Janis Kelly and Marie McLaughlin are both Scottish.
ARTAXERXES****
Anither opera I’ve never heard of but it’s probably still worth a listen. Ian Page is the conductor and the Orchestra of the Classical Opera Company does the music and they’re always great and if Ian’s doing the pre-performance talks they’re worth seeing because he really knows his stuff and he can make it funny.
Christopher Ainslie sings the title role, he’s a counter tenor but he doesn’t sing falsetto, I know that because he wrote to me and told me. He’s very cool and a really great singer, you know some counter tenors honk or just sound totally gay? He doesn’t. (nothing wrong with being gay but most main bloke characters just can’t be because they’ve got girlfriends) I would say go and see him but if I do that it’ll sell out so don’t go and see him okay, not till I’ve got a ticket.
Elizabeth Watts is singing Mandane and she’s another reason why I’m not telling you to go. She’s just so hot and so funny. She’s not a castrato either, at least I don’t think she is, I’ve never had the chance to check unfortunately but she’s a total babe and a really great early music singer, top choice from the ROH. And Rebecca Bottone is Semira, she took her kit off in Powder Her Face, maybe she’ll do it again.
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